My heart is a squash. (from bria)

Yesterday, while working in the garden, I went over to tend to the squash patch that I’d planted, and what did I see?

Little squash seedlings trying to push their way out of the dirt to freedom.  My first instinct was to brush the dirt away and make it easier for them, but immediately I remembered hearing once that part of what makes a plant strong & able to survive the elements above-ground, is the battle it has to go through first, underground.  The more it pushes its way up through the dirt to freedom, the deeper its roots push down into the earth, making it all the stronger.  And, like He does every time we work in the garden, God gave me a heart lesson right then & there, with our little squash plants.  For a long time, my heart has been battling some really hard stuff.  It hasn’t been easy, and I don’t know how many times I’ve cried out, “God, where are You?  Help!  Please!”.  And He showed me that my heart is the squash, and He is the gardener.  He sees me trying to push through the dirt, and He wants to help me, just like I want to help those little plants.  But He knows that if my heart will just keep fighting and pushing that dirt away, I’ll emerge above-ground all the stronger.  Stronger than I can even imagine I could be.  So, in His great love, He leaves the dirt there.  He doesn’t brush it away for me.  And maybe, like I did with the squash plants, He even piles on just a tiny bit more so I’ll come through just that much stronger.  It doesn’t feel like love at the time.  At least, not the watered-down, warm-fuzzies kind of love that we think we want.  But it is Love.  It’s the pure, I’ll-do-what’s-best-for-you-even-if-it-hurts-Me, unfailing Love of the Lord.  And just like with the little plants – even though I wouldn’t brush away the dirt to make their way easier, they couldn’t see it but I was pulling away all of the weeds around them, making sure that nothing would choke them, or block their way, or destroy them while they’re pushing through.

He has buried me in a dark place…
…He has rolled me in the dust.
…The thought of my suffering and
homelessness
is bitter beyond words.
I will never forget this awful time,…
…Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is His faithfulness;
His mercies begin afresh each morning…

…no one is abandoned
by the Lord forever.
Though He brings grief, He also shows
compassion
because of the greatness of His unfailing
Love.

-Lamentations 3

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